Dear MPC Family,
Last month I wrote briefly about the love language of “Words of Affirmation.” We looked at how love is often expressed in encouragement, compliments, appreciation, and affirmation. Hence, speaking words of affirmation is a way people express and receive love. This month we are looking at the love language of “Quality Time.”
Again, if you don’t know what your loved one’s love language is, ask them what things people do towards them make them feel loved. Ask what you have done that makes them feel most loved by you. If you want to look further into this, get ahold of Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. The book has a questionnaire in the back consisting of 30 questions, the answers to which help you identifying yours and others love languages.
Speaking the love language of your loved one to him or her, you fill up what Dr. Chapman calls the “Love Tank.” When the love tank is empty or running low for your loved one (be it spouse, child, friends, etc.), it can really have an adverse effect on that person and your relationship. You may love them, but if the people you love do not feel loved, you must not have loved them in a way they understand. This is because love is quite a bit more than some ooey gooey feeling you have for someone. So, you want try to keep your loved one’s love tank full by speaking his or her love language in order to maintain a healthy relationship.
You’ve probably heard Alabama’s song, “She and I.” “She and I live in our own little world. Don’t worry about the world outside.” Then they go on a bit before singing, “Ain’t it wonderful to know, all we ever need is the two of us, She and I.” Ecclesiastes 4:11 says, “If two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?”
Along those lines, Gary Chapman teaches that “Quality Time” is a way of expressing and receiving love by spending time together with your loved one in a meaningful way. It is focused attention on the one you love—done in conversation, by truly paying attention to what they are saying; done in play; or done over a meal. If your loved one’s love language is quality time, take a walk together and have a good talk. Make a lunch appointment. Or, simply ask your loved one for a list of five activities that he or she would enjoy doing with you. And then, do them. Love is an action verb. Be deliberate!
So, if the one you love expresses and receives love by “Quality Time,” regularly remind yourself that spending time with them is very important! Try setting a goal to spend quality time with them during the week. Set a date. Put a time on your calendar. Make it a priority. Your loved one will love you for it.
In Christ’s love,
Roger